11 yr old daughter in principles office?
talk to her..
communicate
ask her -why she didn't let you know?-'cause she thought it you would scold her..give your replies..that it doesn't matter what wrong shes does..you'll always be there to help her..
no body learns to lie in free..there must be some reason that she lies..to this..completely stop lying..bitter truth is better than lie right now..give her the 'look'..the 'look' that says-don't lie honey.i love you
for now..go to the principle.. and make necessary arrangements..
you are a parent..and you should face this trouble..don't panic..just relax..but make sure..you are doing the right thing with your kid
good luck with the principle :)
Cursing is a method for expressing our emotions. I would talk to your daughter about alternative ways to express herself. If she chooses to use vulgarity to do so, explain to her there are places to do it-maybe with her friends (if she is comfortable doing it in school with teachers, they are probably talking this way as well) but there are people she encounters where it is not appropriate (ie. teachers, grand parents, siblings, etc.). If she chooses to express herself in this negative manner, there should be consequences at home. This is really a lesson in self control. I would expect some consequences like manual labor (tie it in with dirty mouth=clean garage). Remember though that it's hard to stop the negative behavior if you or other members of your family are doing the same thing. If you take this position, don't forget to clean up your language as well.
Lying is such are hard thing but essentially becomes a lesson in self control and integrity. Try to get to the root of the issue-is she lying about things that she fears consequences (ex. the dog ate my homework)? Lying to impress other people (ex. my dad is an astronaught-assuming that is not true)? Lying to get attention (ex. I have monkey pox and only have 3 days to live)? Depending on what type of lying she is doing, will depend on how your respond. If it is for attention, maybe you should take a look at the situation at home, is she getting enough positive attention? If it is fear of consequences, all kids go through this and it phases in and out. Lying to impress, can be a growing thing....help her understand that she is fortunate to have what she does and get her involved with other social groups with kids from different backgrounds. Lying is just one of those things that has to be unacceptable, kind of a worse offense issue. You have to respond to every lie she tells and bust her on it so that she will see she can't get away with it. If you ask her why she is lying, she will invaribly say "I don't know". She may not know why, but you should hold her accountable all the time-every time. Remember this too has to be role modeled at home. If you say "don't lie", than no one should lie.
One other factor is has she been diagnosed with ADD, ADHD or Autism? Some of these impulsive behaviors can be symptoms of these disorders....If she has, you should seek assistance with your physician and/or a mental health professional that deals with these disorders.
You should talk to the principal about the lack of communication from the school. I would tell the principal that you are taking a very serious look at the issues and how to resolve them with your daughter. I would let her know that you expect to have some form of notification anytime your daughter is caught telling a lie and everytime she is sent to the principals office. Express that you are interested in supporting a positive change in the situation and if she or the classroom teachers have any feed back or advice it would be helpful and appreciated.
Good Luck!
PRINCIPAL not principle. One is an educator, the other is money in the bank.
She's 11 - all they hear is cursing and poor grammar; kids are usually pretty deceptive at that age, although it's often called "being imaginative".
Have you sat down and spoken with your daughter? Like every day when she gets home form school? Not AT her, but with her. Ask how her day was, what she did.
She gone to the principal's office several times and they never notified you? The school should be more on top of that.
Of course you need to punish her. Not seeing that her actions have consequences is one of the problems. Not knowing what her "bad choices at school" have been, it's hard to determine a punishment that fits the crime. If it's just the swearing, make her pay $1 every time you hear her swear and you have the same rule too - if she catches you swearing, you pay $1.
ETA: Why shouldn't you make her feel guilty? She did something wrong, she knows she did something wrong, and she is old enough to learn consequences. I say go ahead, make her feel guilty!
Tell her no tv, video games, computer, or playdates for a week. Do what ever will get her mad and get it in her head that what she's doing is totally wrong.
p.s: iam not a parent.. a freshmen in high school but i know how it works..i have a lot expriences since 3rd grade...believe me i do.. good luck bye..
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